Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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