what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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