worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
