she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
