why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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