We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
