But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the condom got lost in my hair
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
