To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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