just come out here and I will go home with you...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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