Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
