Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
