I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i don't like sucking hair
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize