I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
