# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
