Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
