Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
