turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
