i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
