you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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