dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize