worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
