i permit you to call me
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
