Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
