So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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