Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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