How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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