i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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