im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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