This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize