Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
