i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize