Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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