I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
