i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
