I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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