she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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