The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize