i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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