Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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