Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
