the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
