Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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