If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
