I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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