I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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