I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
