no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
