I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
