hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
