its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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