Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize