Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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