You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
