so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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