idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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