Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
