this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize