Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
we're so committed to being not committed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
