3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
