you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
