Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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