i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
