I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
