DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
