at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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