I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
