You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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