My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
