Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
