oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
