how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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