In the future we'll all be gay
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
