I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
