I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
