After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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